Hot Take:Trevor Lawrence is About to Pull a Tim Tebow

You know when you get that weird feeling in your gut, you don’t quite know if it’s indigestion from 3am Taco Bell or if it’s a spicy take.

On this rare occasion, it’s the latter for me.

I think Trevor Lawrence is about to return to Clemson the same way Tim Tebow returned to Florida in 2009.

Let’s start by saying that Trevor is 100 times the prospect that Tebow ever was, but the competitive nature aligns and I’ll be the first to say, take the guaranteed money.

Let’s rewind to 2009. Florida has just won the natty and the celebration was commencing. Tebow steps on stage and everyone thinks he’s about to announce that he’s declaring for the draft.

Tim said “ Swerve” (probably) and said he’s returning for his senior season.

His senior season resulted in a 8-5 record and was extremely underwhelming and resulted in a 13-1 record and a sugar bowl win.

Okay, so what does this have to do with T-Law?

Trevor has had an amazing college career that has resulted in him being the consensus number one overall pick…. what else? One national championship sure, no one can take that away, but no Heisman… it could’ve been his this year, but Covid took that away.

“Not just about the money”

If you look at the next two drafts, Trevor is a certified number one pick. If he goes into the draft this year or the next year, he will still be a number one pick. A serious injury is the only thing that risks his draft potential.

Here’s the caveat, if Trevor wins the Natty again this year, he’s done. Jags/Jets, enjoy your franchise QB.

If he doesn’t win, expect him to make a heroic return to Clemson and win all of the trophies. The ones that he will never have a chance to get again.

Quick recap, win and he’s in the NFL. Lose and Trevor dominates the ACC for another year.

This Recruit Won National Signing Day

Names in college football are often comedic. That comedy goes front and center when national signing day comes around.

Okay sure you often get kids who look like grown ass men.

Example A.

That’s all well and good for Kendrick Blackshire who has shocked the world by committing to Alabama. He didn’t win the day though.

Well James, if a scary 18-year old who’s going to give you nightmares didn’t win National signing day, who did?

I’ll tell you imaginary voice that’s actually my voice that I made your voice… *what*

Laaaadies and gentlemen, standing in at 6’3 180 pounds. Quarterback out of Allen Texas. He’s not a solider, he’s not a captain, no no…. itssss

GENERAL BOOTY!!!!!

This is the greatest name in the history of sports. I’ve never wanted an athlete to succeed more. Baker who? Na fam. General Booty.

He doesn’t have any power 5 offers as of right now, but you can be damn sure I’m going to root for this kid to be the next NCAA star.

The Cam Newton Experiment is Over

Cam Newton was signed in June and instantly divided Patriots nation. We were just getting over a rough break up, we weren’t quite ready to move on from Tom. Some fans thought that Cam was just a rebound, others thought that he could be the future.

As fans, we were treated to two games of an electric Cam. We were all able to see what made him an MVP back in 2015.

Fast forward twelve weeks. We, the Patriot faithful, are left with a losing record, questionable QB play, awful decision making, and a QB who doesn’t care about his stats, but is focused on wins and losses. That’s fine! A win is a win, but when you look at the losses and realize that you can put 90% of the blame on your shoulders there is an issue. 

As a starting QB, only having five passing Touchdowns in week 14 is embarrassing. Yes, the Patriots are a run first team with Cam under center and the most undervalued backfield, but a QB has to be able to throw. Preferably, a QB must be able to throw more touchdowns than interceptions. For the record, Cam has ten interceptions on the year. You can pin almost all of those interceptions on bad decision making and horrible mechanics. 

Belichick has remained adamant that “Cam’s our Quarterback.” It’s hard to question the methods of the GOAT coach, but you have to look at the team and realize that there is a talented young offense being wasted by a washed up QB. 

So, yes. Cam is the QB right now. The Patriots got a deal in June. They signed a placeholder QB for under a million dollars. He won’t be re-signed this offseason and Bill will get a compensatory pick. Expect the Patriots to be aggressive in the draft and free agency. Hell, they might even trade for a name like Wentz or Stafford. 

Until that time, dig in. The next three weeks are going to be rough on their way to a top ten pick and an embarrassing record.

The Patriots are Rebuilding and Failing

Patriots nation, the trade deadline has come and gone and all the Patriots have to show for it is Isaiah Ford. They have failed you. 

It was rumored that the Patriots would be sellers at the draft; all signs pointed to Gilmore being traded after he listed his house and set the deadline for bids on the exact time the deadline ended. There’s a first round pick right there, but you got greedy. A first round pick and a player is insanely rich for a 30 year old who is starting to regress. 

What about Joe Thuney? The Pats could’ve shipped the guard and secured a second round pick, minimum. There are plenty of teams that need line help. Nope.

Instead, here we are with no direction, no surplus of picks, a losing season imminent, and a team full of holes and gaps that should’ve been filled. 

Now, we can all admit that Cam is not the future of the Patriots, which is fine, you only spent a million on a former MVP. Fine. Draft one next season, there are plenty of studs available in the first round, look at Trey Lance. Who fills the gap at linebacker? In that case, draft Micah Parsons. Build around the young linebacker so you can inevitably replace D’onta Hightower. 

That’s not even the beginning of their needs. N’Keal Harry hasn’t progressed, at all. While there are stars like D.K. Metcalf, AJ Brown, and Terry McLaurin who you passed on, all are rising in the ranks of talented WRs. 

What about Isaiah Ford? The Patriots made a good play here, I’ll give them that, but there is no way that Ford is anything but a placeholder while Edelman gets healthy. 

What about the two TEs you drafted this year? They have a combined 10 catches. 

The Patriots are in absolute shambles. Bill, you should’ve went all in on a rebuild. Sell some top players, look towards next season where you would have a bountiful amount of cap at $43 million and picks. No. instead you left Patriot fans with a broken heart and zero, ABSOLUTELY ZERO hope for the future.

Thom Brennaman Threw Out a FAT Slur on Live TV

Hot Mics are notorious for catching people at their worst.

Swearing, sexual harassment, and general vulgarity make the hot mic prime real estate for celebrities and common people alike to screw up.

Now at the plate, Thom Brennaman.

The Reds announcer had this to say.

If I had one word to describe this it would be OOF.

Dude! What does that even mean? Where is he talking about?

I don’t think of gay people when I think of Cincinnati. I think of gross “chili” and disappointment.

I love how he tries to bail himself out, like 10s of uhh 10s (there can’t be that many reds fans right?) fans somehow missed him say “The F&@$ Capitals of the world.”

Here’s what Brennaman had to say about his mess up.

This is the most half assed apology I’ve heard in a long time. I’d say the odds are pretty heavy against you coming back Thom.

This just goes to show any aspiring broadcasters out there to watch out for the hot mic and just be a good person.

Fuck you Thom. (Nice h. Parents couldn’t have just named you Tom? Dick)

Team Bonding: IG Model Claims She “Orally Pleased” 7 Phoenix Suns Players

You might remember the article I wrote about the fact that players in their bubbles need to uhh… “release”

Never. Ever. Not in a million years. Would I expect this story to come out of that same idea (awful choice of words).

Apparently, some IG model named Aliza was snuck into the Suns Hotel and felatioed, gave felatio, uhhh screw it. She blew 7 Suns players at the same time.

Note. The Celtics chose to play dodgeball and bowl together for bonding. The Suns got simultaneous head. One of those teams went undefeated. They also, didn’t make the playoffs so you win some you lose some.

There’s not much else to say about this whole situation so I’m going to list off some James jokes.

-I bet the Suns thought they would only be tested for COVID, boy were they wrong!

– I guess you can call them the rising Suns. (Boner joke)

-I wonder who called her over, who do you think was the Booker. 👀

-its a shame they didn’t make the playoffs, that really Blows.

Myles Garrett Calls Out Racism

Yesterday, Myles Garrett tweeted out photos of racists throwing the n-word at him in his DMs.

Scum.

What sort of weird itch or fetish does this help you with?

I love the idea that these people sat around thinking of a way to insult Myles and settles for the N-word, because that’s about all their brain capacity allows.

The laws of statistics would lean to this being a common thing for black athletes to experience, but Myles decided to act upon it.

Re-wind to when I said Myles posted the DMs. The Internet responded by finding these people and serving a big ol’ plate of justice.

Jacob Garrison. PGA amateur and country club worker. Hmmm….

All of these are Golfers. Isn’t golf a sport of leisure? Is it the white ball? Do you see hitting the white ball as social injustice. Listen guys it’s just a ball, you don’t have to have that much hate in your body.

The Internet remains undefeated and is on the side of good this time. I am already a Browns fan and a Myles Garrett fan so I’ll support my guys through and through, but this is about being a good human. That being said, fuck racism.

Better Late Than Never; My Thoughts On Cam Newton

With the New England Patriots signing Cam Newton, most fans were excited for the addition of a “veteran” Quarterback joining the team. On the other side was me; cringing with the fact that my two worst nightmares came true. First was of course Tom Brady leaving, second was the Pats bringing in Cam Newton as a replacement. However, I’ve had some time to sit and think and I’m here to express my opinions on the matter and that Cam Newton will be either a boom or a bust candidate for the Patriots.

I’ve been pretty vocal with my thoughts on Cam Newton in the past, and I still stand by my arguments to an extent, but I do feel if handled the right way, Cam Newton can be a great addition to the Patriots. In previous years, offenses revolved around Newton. Newton saw himself as a one-man show and that was that. Numerous times, I was disgusted at the fact that receivers would be wide-open down field and yet Newton still ran the ball himself. Granted my bias comes from the fact that I’m not a big running-qb man, but I still feel strongly as though the Panthers offense wasn’t clockwork, it was what Newton felt like doing on that play. I think that led to the arrogance that I personally despised out of Newton. I hated him on the field, and more off the field. I thought he was a cocky douchebag who thought the world revolves around him. However, on the Patriots, none of what I mentioned above will stand.

On the Patriots, “Do Your Job” isn’t just a motto, it’s the way of life and how the Patriots achieve so much success. The Patriots work around every single player on that offense and make it all connect perfectly for what we’ve known for decades. Bill Bellichick and Josh Mcdaniels have certain ways about them that create these factors. With Newton on the team, this shouldn’t change anything, and I believe that’s why we see Newton being goal driven and so optimistic to work with the Patriots this season.

On the Patriots, Newton knows that his personal success means nothing. What makes the Patriots stick out is the teamwork. Now obviously I know every team of course has strong teamwork, but yet again and again the Patriots show that theirs is like no other. The Pats make success of utilizing every single position on the field. That means utilizing every receiver, tight end, lineman, and even the quarterback. What this means is that, if Cam Newton comes into the Patriots offense knowing that he has so many options to choose from every play, he could be a huge success. Newton can change the whole scheme of that offense to turn around him and ruin what was once an amazing amount of success. What Newton can also do, is tweak the offense and form with it, creating a scary scenario of a huge quarterback with great running sense, observational awareness, and the ability to spread the field like no other. Let’s hope it’s the latter.

I feel strongly as though Newton feels he has something to prove. With a contract that isn’t worth much, and the thought of knowing that he has to work harder than ever before, Cam Newton May be able to improve his biggest weaknesses and shine like never before. Given the fact that The patriots have now lost crucial lineman for the season, I believe this season will be the true groundbreaking year for Newton as he shows the true potential he holds to carry a team to victory, or to be left out to dry.

Welcome To The Joe Kelly Fight Club

Los Angeles Dodgers Pitcher Joe Kelly has recently been suspended 8 games for throwing behind Houston Astros players Alex Bregman and Carlos Correa. Which is funny, because now the MLB is protecting the Astros, after catching them cheating and letting all the Astros players get by with absolutely no punishments. So Rob Manfred and the MLB are now being children and are going to punish every single retaliation to the Astros. Absolutely unacceptable.

The Astros got caught stealing signs. THEY KNEW EVERY PITCH!!! The evidence is clear as day and the MLB handled it terrible. The Astros organization lied, tried to cover up evidence, and fabricated stories every step of the way, and yet every player was given immunity. And now, retaliation against the Astros (which is very personal throughout the league) is not going to be accepted.

I side with Joe Kelly here and I hope he appeals the hell out of this suspension. I am appalled that the MLB would issue such a harsh penalty when neither player was even hit. Since the punishments were handed out and avoided for the Astros, players have been very vocal of their feelings towards the Astros players getting by without any serious penalties. The retaliations were expected this season and Joe Kelly has been at the fore front of this catastrophe. Joe Kelly is now on the Dodgers, who currently despise the Astros for their scandalous wins while cheating. To add to the the matter Joe Kelly was a part of the Red Sox, which was already a heated rivalry with the Astros before the cheating scandals. Joe Kelly deserves to be set free and when he is, I hope he comes out swinging.

I hope Joe Kelly comes out of this suspension swinging. Bring us the fire and don’t fuck with Joe Kelly. If the MLB is gonna play childish, at least let Joe Kelly throw some shade. Joe Kelly helped re-ignite the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry. He was a god for the Red Sox. The “don’t give a fuck” attitude is exactly what we need in the MLB, especially from a pitcher. Joe Kelly is an MLB god who isn’t afraid to say shit like it is and call out problems that need fixing. Him throwing at Bergman and Correa was the perfect response that “even though the season was shortened, we didn’t forget what you guys did, and this shows how much we hate you”. It’s the perfect scenario to remind everyone watching, and everyone in the MLB that we still hate the Astros and we all want to watch them burn. Show us what you got Joe.

Joe Kelly Has the Largest Set of Rocks of Any Man, Ever

Okay, so the lead photo doesn’t do my statement any justice, but if you’re from Boston you love this man.

Joe Kelly reignited the rivalry between the Sox and Yankees with one pitch.

Well… one pitch and a few punches, but you get the idea right?

It’s not often that you see a relief pitcher stand out on the Sox, but Joe Kelly was an ICON in Boston. He was the first relief pitcher I was sad to see leave.

Fast forward to the Astros and everyone hating their existence and us restarting the season.

Joe Kelly wasn’t on the Dodgers in 2017. He was on the Red Sox. Could there be some hatred there from a 3-1 series? I’d say no, but I’m not Joe. He pulled this move last night as a clear rebuttal to the trash can bangers.

Kinda loses the effect without a crowd cheering and jeering.

I want to point out, this was Joe’s only strike out that night. Before that, he walked Bregman and buckled another hitter.

Good ol’ Joe decided to slam his massive nuts on the table and make the Astros stare with envy.

I can’t pretend like I’d do any different. If I struck out a toddler, I’d still strut around like I was a golden god. I’d make that diaper wearing fuck realize how dominant I am on the mound. (Spoiler: not very dominant.)

I love the taunt and celebration from you Joe, but maybe next time get one more strike out before you start taunting the Buzzers aka the Houston ASStros.