Team Bonding: IG Model Claims She “Orally Pleased” 7 Phoenix Suns Players

You might remember the article I wrote about the fact that players in their bubbles need to uhh… “release”

Never. Ever. Not in a million years. Would I expect this story to come out of that same idea (awful choice of words).

Apparently, some IG model named Aliza was snuck into the Suns Hotel and felatioed, gave felatio, uhhh screw it. She blew 7 Suns players at the same time.

Note. The Celtics chose to play dodgeball and bowl together for bonding. The Suns got simultaneous head. One of those teams went undefeated. They also, didn’t make the playoffs so you win some you lose some.

There’s not much else to say about this whole situation so I’m going to list off some James jokes.

-I bet the Suns thought they would only be tested for COVID, boy were they wrong!

– I guess you can call them the rising Suns. (Boner joke)

-I wonder who called her over, who do you think was the Booker. 👀

-its a shame they didn’t make the playoffs, that really Blows.

Better Late Than Never; My Thoughts On Cam Newton

With the New England Patriots signing Cam Newton, most fans were excited for the addition of a “veteran” Quarterback joining the team. On the other side was me; cringing with the fact that my two worst nightmares came true. First was of course Tom Brady leaving, second was the Pats bringing in Cam Newton as a replacement. However, I’ve had some time to sit and think and I’m here to express my opinions on the matter and that Cam Newton will be either a boom or a bust candidate for the Patriots.

I’ve been pretty vocal with my thoughts on Cam Newton in the past, and I still stand by my arguments to an extent, but I do feel if handled the right way, Cam Newton can be a great addition to the Patriots. In previous years, offenses revolved around Newton. Newton saw himself as a one-man show and that was that. Numerous times, I was disgusted at the fact that receivers would be wide-open down field and yet Newton still ran the ball himself. Granted my bias comes from the fact that I’m not a big running-qb man, but I still feel strongly as though the Panthers offense wasn’t clockwork, it was what Newton felt like doing on that play. I think that led to the arrogance that I personally despised out of Newton. I hated him on the field, and more off the field. I thought he was a cocky douchebag who thought the world revolves around him. However, on the Patriots, none of what I mentioned above will stand.

On the Patriots, “Do Your Job” isn’t just a motto, it’s the way of life and how the Patriots achieve so much success. The Patriots work around every single player on that offense and make it all connect perfectly for what we’ve known for decades. Bill Bellichick and Josh Mcdaniels have certain ways about them that create these factors. With Newton on the team, this shouldn’t change anything, and I believe that’s why we see Newton being goal driven and so optimistic to work with the Patriots this season.

On the Patriots, Newton knows that his personal success means nothing. What makes the Patriots stick out is the teamwork. Now obviously I know every team of course has strong teamwork, but yet again and again the Patriots show that theirs is like no other. The Pats make success of utilizing every single position on the field. That means utilizing every receiver, tight end, lineman, and even the quarterback. What this means is that, if Cam Newton comes into the Patriots offense knowing that he has so many options to choose from every play, he could be a huge success. Newton can change the whole scheme of that offense to turn around him and ruin what was once an amazing amount of success. What Newton can also do, is tweak the offense and form with it, creating a scary scenario of a huge quarterback with great running sense, observational awareness, and the ability to spread the field like no other. Let’s hope it’s the latter.

I feel strongly as though Newton feels he has something to prove. With a contract that isn’t worth much, and the thought of knowing that he has to work harder than ever before, Cam Newton May be able to improve his biggest weaknesses and shine like never before. Given the fact that The patriots have now lost crucial lineman for the season, I believe this season will be the true groundbreaking year for Newton as he shows the true potential he holds to carry a team to victory, or to be left out to dry.

Welcome To The Joe Kelly Fight Club

Los Angeles Dodgers Pitcher Joe Kelly has recently been suspended 8 games for throwing behind Houston Astros players Alex Bregman and Carlos Correa. Which is funny, because now the MLB is protecting the Astros, after catching them cheating and letting all the Astros players get by with absolutely no punishments. So Rob Manfred and the MLB are now being children and are going to punish every single retaliation to the Astros. Absolutely unacceptable.

The Astros got caught stealing signs. THEY KNEW EVERY PITCH!!! The evidence is clear as day and the MLB handled it terrible. The Astros organization lied, tried to cover up evidence, and fabricated stories every step of the way, and yet every player was given immunity. And now, retaliation against the Astros (which is very personal throughout the league) is not going to be accepted.

I side with Joe Kelly here and I hope he appeals the hell out of this suspension. I am appalled that the MLB would issue such a harsh penalty when neither player was even hit. Since the punishments were handed out and avoided for the Astros, players have been very vocal of their feelings towards the Astros players getting by without any serious penalties. The retaliations were expected this season and Joe Kelly has been at the fore front of this catastrophe. Joe Kelly is now on the Dodgers, who currently despise the Astros for their scandalous wins while cheating. To add to the the matter Joe Kelly was a part of the Red Sox, which was already a heated rivalry with the Astros before the cheating scandals. Joe Kelly deserves to be set free and when he is, I hope he comes out swinging.

I hope Joe Kelly comes out of this suspension swinging. Bring us the fire and don’t fuck with Joe Kelly. If the MLB is gonna play childish, at least let Joe Kelly throw some shade. Joe Kelly helped re-ignite the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry. He was a god for the Red Sox. The “don’t give a fuck” attitude is exactly what we need in the MLB, especially from a pitcher. Joe Kelly is an MLB god who isn’t afraid to say shit like it is and call out problems that need fixing. Him throwing at Bergman and Correa was the perfect response that “even though the season was shortened, we didn’t forget what you guys did, and this shows how much we hate you”. It’s the perfect scenario to remind everyone watching, and everyone in the MLB that we still hate the Astros and we all want to watch them burn. Show us what you got Joe.

Cancel The MLB Season

The MLB is in absolute shambles as it faces a Covid-19 outbreak among the Marlins franchise and the consequences thereof. Not to say I told you so MLB, but I totally fucking told you so. If anyone saw this coming, other than me, it should’ve been Rob Manfred and the fact of the matter is, the MLB should have never started to begin with.

The Miami Marlins and Philadelphia Phillies are on close watch as the Marlins gain a total of 17 positive Covid cases since their series with the Phillies.

What’s a better way to spread a virus than sports teams. They all share the same sidelines, dugout, bench. It’s stupid to even think that any sports league could be safe enough from this. I mean for Christ sake we were forced into lockdown for months until this virus let up a little. We finally get a little freedom and all sports shove play into action with so-called “safety measures”. What possible safety measures can protect full teams and leagues from a pandemic level virus?

Masks in the locker rooms? Full lockdown and bubbles for all players and personnel? Continuous checks and testing? I can promise you it all sounds great but it doesn’t work. It just doesn’t work. Do you honestly expect leagues full of multi-million dollar players to stay inside their hotel rooms? Do you honestly expect players to walk up to home plate with no mask on, then be told to wear one three minutes later. It’s all impossible to keep track of 24/7. It’s just not possible to monitor every player at every second.

You can’t use players as guinea pigs for entertainment. It’s not right and even though many still do choose to play, I believe we will keep seeing more and more start to opt out with the ongoing concerns. Every sport that has started back up has had players with Covid. It’s asinine to believe that players, personnel, and staff are just magically protected and constantly monitored. All it takes is one person infected with the virus to pass it on to multiple teams.

What’s more is the MLB is basically the canary in the coal mine. They were the sport to come out and show that they could still play even with the virus still posing a legit threat around the country. But with the Miami Marlins outbreak, it’s safe to say that sports will not work. What we will continue to see is weeks of games, followed by weeks of postponement once the virus hits multiple teams. Every team playing is susceptible every series, and this is in the best interest of absolutely NO ONE. The season needs to be canceled now, and save the MLB for good.

The Marlins franchise have 17 total positive cases so far. The whole team basically has it and you have to expect this to happen multiple times throughout the shortened season unless the season is cancelled. It is not worth the risk to the MLB. Even with the best medical care, there’s no way to say how each player handles the virus. The MLB is solely responsible for every player or staff member that gets Covid-19. Why even risk it at this point.

With Manfred claiming he doesn’t think the outbreak on the Marlins will affect the Philadelphia Phillies (who the Marlins just faced a 3-game series against) or the league itself, he is an idiot. The virus will keep spreading. Everyone just watched the season start last week, and we already have our first outbreak in the MLB before 5 games have even been played. The MLB just played itself so bad that if this isn’t fixed fast, the MLB will not only become a laughingstock, but a disgrace all together. With the best interests of all contact sports in mind, this year needs to be postponed. No sports and let the virus play itself out. Fix this now.

Should Baseball Return?

At the moment, the MLB is in shambles but is set to return July 1st. At this point, it has me wondering if it’s even worth it to bring baseball back. We’re already close to halfway through what would have been a season, yet instead of a season, tensions and pay cuts are the only statistics on the rise.

We have the MLBPA players union claiming the players don’t want to play unless they get paid a substantial amount, the MLB going back and forth on their offers, and commissioner Rob Manfred insisting a season will happen. Now with a supposed season underway, what do we expect of games, the pandemic, and many players in confined areas.

Shared from ESPN on how the upcoming season is proposed to take place.

By the time we see a season underway it will either be too small of a season for anyone to care, players unsatisfied due to salary cuts, or some other bogus reasons. As much as we all want baseball back, I think it’s safe to say a season at this point is a waste. If there is nothing to gain from a partial season, I truthfully don’t see anyone giving a shit about the game itself, leaving less fans, viewers, and money coming in. What could be a partial season could also be a horrific downfall to the game of baseball.

The MLB has two options now. Either rush the season back as planned and accept the consequences that may arise, or cancel the season and pay everyone accordingly. Of course whichever path is chosen, money and fans will be lost, but if a season is resurrected as is currently scheduled, the MLB needs to hope and pray for the same competitiveness as prior seasons. If Manfred waits any longer, significant problems can arise that will keep delaying and cause more turmoil amongst the MLB.

With where the MLB stands right now, the best route the MLB has is to not have a season this year. Let this fluke run it’s course and pick back up next year as a strong, competitive, yet respected organization. The risks that come with having a season this year may be the downfall of what was once the greatest sport in America.

It’s Starting Too Look Like Football Is Back. Or is it?

Reports have been swirling today about the future of the NFL.

First, we hear that the SEC is ready to go and has student athletes reporting June 8th.

Then, Gov. Cuomo wants teams to play again, just with empty stadiums.

After months of canceling events, we finally got optimistic news about the return of sports.

Naturally, the rumor mill started spinning. Tweets started pouring out about the NFL having a restart date ready.

JC Tretter, the president of the NFLPA and Browns offensive lineman, quickly came out and dispelled the rumors.

I want sports back as much as the next guy. I want the feeling of summer baseball back. I want the anticipation of pre-season football, but not at the cost of the players.

For whatever it’s worth, I will always stand with the players. They put their asses on the line for us every week.

The players shouldn’t have to risk anything more than what they already do for our entertainment.

Ryan Leaf Tries to Stay Relevant by Getting Arrested

Yesterday, Ryan Leaf decided that he wanted to be like the other guys in the NFL and was arrested on domestic battery charges.

If you think back, this isn’t his first run in with the law. The former number 2 pick and forever bust, has been arrested on drug charges among other things.

Most sports fans thought he had cleaned up and got his life together. I mean he was covering college football for ESPN, going around to different rehab houses in LA, and just showing that he was ready to change.

How about his dad bod combine weigh in though? 6’6 250, that boy thicc. He was primed to put on his nice Air Monarchs and mow the lawn on a Saturday.

He’s still in jail, he should stay there. If there’s something we can take away from this, don’t hit your spouse. Everyone is going to think you’re a scumbag if they didn’t already. Be a good human.

Smokin’ Jay Cutler isn’t Going Down Without a Fight

This boring dystopia we currently live in was smacked with the news of Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari divorcing early last week.

The usual divorce finger pointing was thrown around, but the biggest was Cavallari accusing Cutler of “Marital Misconduct.” With this, Cavallari has requested to move into a 5+ mullion dollar mansion somewhere in Tennessee.

Jay’s response was to switch his finger pointing to flipping off by freezing all of his accounts and telling her to move into one of the other homes they own.

Cutler very clearly is offended by the accusations Cavallari has put forth, but this move is a big one. He better be damn sure that her accusations of cheating are false because this is gonna back fire hard if he is wrong.

Armani Williams Makes 2020 Better

If you haven’t heard this man’s amazingly cool name by now, you should learn it. I promise you all, his story and his mantra will give you faith in humanity once again.

Armani, like most kids with a racing dream, just wanted an opportunity to perform at the biggest level in America. NASCAR. As with most things, there are roadblocks that prevent you from achieving your goal, for Armani, it is Autism.

“Tell me I can’t, so I can show you that I can.”

That is Armani’s mantra. Those are the words that kept him going through doctors who told him that his dream was unlikely.

At 18 years old, Armani will got to live out his dream and become the first driver to be openly Autistic. The same kid that grew up playing with Hot Wheels turned his ambition into a reality and turned all doubt into admiration.

We here at BOTA, love his story and will be rooting for him this upcoming season. Keep inspiring Armani.

LSU Thinks That Students Will Go to Saturday Classes

Here I am, enjoying a successful recording of our live show *cough cough Here,** and I see this news from WBRZ come across my news feed.

Are you serious? Your school just had a home natty win, you gave the students the day of and the day after off, and you really think that you’ll convince students to go to school to make it up? Nonetheless on a Saturday?

Louisiana should feel blessed that their students didn’t burn their city to the ground. like I said. They won a national championship, had one of the most memorable seasons in recent memory, sorry FSU. They beat 6 teams that won at least 10 games. I mean hell they beat Texas in Texas which is always a battle. All of this, and you really think the student body will attend Saturday classes. GOOD LUCK.