Fat James Harden is the Hero 2020 Needed

2020 has been hard for a lot of people. A ton of us have gained a ton of weight during quarantine.

I can breathe knowing that James Harden currently looks like the dude that hangs out at the YMCA and tries to hop in every pick up game because he “Coulda been in the league if it wasn’t for my damn knee…”

Oddly specific right?

I know he wants a trade and he took some time away from the team blah blah blah, BUT WHO THE FUCK IS THIS MAN?

This is James Harden.

This isn’t James Harden

I MEAN DAMN.

He’s the hero we’ve needed. This man ins a professional athlete at the top of his game. He looks like us. He is US. WE ARE HIM. WE ARE US?

Communism break

This kind of thing happens all the time. Sure he’s getting roasted online, but that’s just the cycle. He’s going to get back in shape, end up in Miami, and fail in the playoffs. It’s the new Harden cycle.

The Cam Newton Experiment is Over

Cam Newton was signed in June and instantly divided Patriots nation. We were just getting over a rough break up, we weren’t quite ready to move on from Tom. Some fans thought that Cam was just a rebound, others thought that he could be the future.

As fans, we were treated to two games of an electric Cam. We were all able to see what made him an MVP back in 2015.

Fast forward twelve weeks. We, the Patriot faithful, are left with a losing record, questionable QB play, awful decision making, and a QB who doesn’t care about his stats, but is focused on wins and losses. That’s fine! A win is a win, but when you look at the losses and realize that you can put 90% of the blame on your shoulders there is an issue. 

As a starting QB, only having five passing Touchdowns in week 14 is embarrassing. Yes, the Patriots are a run first team with Cam under center and the most undervalued backfield, but a QB has to be able to throw. Preferably, a QB must be able to throw more touchdowns than interceptions. For the record, Cam has ten interceptions on the year. You can pin almost all of those interceptions on bad decision making and horrible mechanics. 

Belichick has remained adamant that “Cam’s our Quarterback.” It’s hard to question the methods of the GOAT coach, but you have to look at the team and realize that there is a talented young offense being wasted by a washed up QB. 

So, yes. Cam is the QB right now. The Patriots got a deal in June. They signed a placeholder QB for under a million dollars. He won’t be re-signed this offseason and Bill will get a compensatory pick. Expect the Patriots to be aggressive in the draft and free agency. Hell, they might even trade for a name like Wentz or Stafford. 

Until that time, dig in. The next three weeks are going to be rough on their way to a top ten pick and an embarrassing record.

LOGAN PAUL AND FLOYD MAYWEATHER HAVE AGREED TO FIGHT…. In the Biggest Cash Grab Yet…

Floyd Mayweather has agreed to fight Logan Paul on Feb. 20 in what will be another cash grab, awful fight.

The internet HATES Logan Paul. I’m not going to sit here on my high chair and tell you that it’s all unjust…dudes a douche, but this won’t be the situation that they are selling.

The promoters want to sell the image of an actual professional boxer who is arguably the GOAT, coming in and ringing Logan Paul’s bell.

It won’t. I wish It was, but it won’t. Mayweather wants another check and Paul knows that this will bring in a HUGE audience.

Credit where credit is due:

Logan Paul has made a legitimate name for himself in his celebrity boxing matches, most notably his 2 bouts against YouTuber KSI. He has actually trained in boxing for all of these events. He hasn’t taken it lightly.

If you think this is going to be anything but a boring fight that comes to a boring decision. You are horribly mistaken.

First Look at the Reverse Retros

Some look insane, and some didn’t change at all. I knew the potential was there from the start but these types of projects always seem to come out looking like shit. While a couple teams were given a subpar sweater (yes I’m talking about the devils…) that being said, there are some absolute fire threads in here.

Calgary for starters completely overtook their old logo with this absolutely masterpiece. I mean come on, its a fucking horse with fire coming out of it’s nose, What 9 year old would want to rock that at a game or anywhere for that matter. I may have just become a Calgary fan and I’m completely ok with that. The Yotes also got a sick setup. I’m a sucker for the small detail and the strip of the desert on the bottom of the jersey came out in a major way. The two tone Kachina also looks super sick up against the purple. The Ducks hit gold as well with there design, it’s just a shame that they are such a weak team now sporting a “jacked up” duck but I digress. I had higher hopes for the Av’s jersey when I saw the tease pictures but it still falls in the top third out of all of them. The King’s remind me of the Lakers so that sucks. Vegas adding the red absolutely floored me but I dig them. Think it’ll look really good on a snapback. The Capitals and Blue Jackets came out buzzing. All I can think about is the Ovi goal from his back. It’s great to see the Whalers logo back in the league for sure.

The rest didn’t even try. They are all like that kid in eleventh grade who just complete forgot about the assignment and just handed in a rough draft he put together as the teacher is walking up and down the aisles collecting the assignment. A grand total of zero difference in the Flyers, Oilers, Nashville, Toronto and Islanders. The blues changes one main color to red. The Devils went back to the green (FUCK). Jets changed one color, and all the other teams aren’t worth mentioning. Not super thrilled with the outcome as there was just about endless possibilities to make these absolutely insane. Kind of underwhelmed by the finished product just like all my teachers were with my homework but whatever. It is what it is. What do you guys think of your teams jersey?

Top Three Sports Moments This Year.

This is strictly a matter of opinion and would love to see what your top three sports moments this year are as well. You have nothing to worry about in this being a biased article because my teams (not only this year) but over the past decade have been complete dog shit…So without further prolonged, shitty, non-comical poorly constructed, weak intro, here we go.

Number 3: We have the Joe Kelly (Dodgers 4 eyed pitcher) just absolutely abusing the Astros after the they we granted complete immunity in return for information on cheating their way to a World Series last year. This series of events takes place after the MLB commission came out and backed the Houston Astros players saying that if they were thrown at, suspensions would be handed out. Does not make sense to me either but hey, there’s a reason I’m writing a blog right now and not running the MLB… To set the scene, Joe Kelly comes into the game with a three-run lead against the Astros and immediately begins struggling to find the zone. He’s got Bregman at the plate (one of the suspected ringleaders of this whole cheating scandal). Now with a 3-0 count its very typical that the pitcher comes in with a fast ball right down the middle of the plate. Joe Kelly on the other handed, rips a 96MPH fastball about two inches behind Bregman’s head. Fucking legendary move in my opinion. The fear that came across Bregman’s face was something that every fan, player, and coach across the country needed to see on this warm night at the end of July. We all needed some sort of justice to take place and Joe was not done delivering it. So now with Bregman on first thank God that he wasn’t at the plate anymore, Kelly proceeds to “attempt” to pick him off. Now I have been around the sport for the last 20 years and I have never in my life seen someone continue to pitch at a batter he just walked, and that’s exactly what he was doing. With each pickoff attempt (at least 3 in total) he was clearly aiming at Bregman’s ribcage keeping throws intentionally off the bag and aimed directly at him.

He gets the ground ball he was hoping for, unfortunately not the double play ball though as the throw back to first was a half-step to slow and as Kelly begins walking back to the mound a hot mic picked up a whiny little bitch from the Astros bench say “Just get on the mound little fucker” Absolutely incredible how much headspace Joe Kelly acquired in the Dodgers head in about four minutes lol. He proceeds to walk Gurriel on four pitches (yes he absolutely brought a fastball up and inside) and now Alex Correa (another suspected ringleader of the trash can scandal) walks gingerly into Joe Kelly’s office. First pitch thrown: Off speed directly at the head of Correa who narrowly avoids a concussion by dropping to the dirt. Second pitch: fast ball up and inside and Correa, who was visibly rattled after the first pitch, has had to have lost all sense of focus. Kelly proceeds to get Correa to strike out swinging to end the inning and as he’s walking off the mound turns and says, “nice swing bitch” and continues the big dick energy by throwing severe faces at Correa. I’ve always hated the dodgers but since this I have been the biggest Joe Kelly supporter on the planet. (He was in fact suspended 8 games for this, but God was it worth it.)

Number 2: The Lakers putting on an absolute shit kicking the NBA bubble for the late great Kobe. Will my hate for Lebron, and the Lakers is still very prominent and always will be, I think what they brought to every Laker fan and more importantly every Kobe fan was exactly the kind of storybook ending that just doesn’t happen anymore, yet they did it. This weird ass year started off with TMZ breaking the Kobe Bryant news back in January and ever since then its just been one thing after another. Kobe had been the backbone of LA for as long as I can remember, and this was one incredible way to honor him one final time. While he may not be here physical, he lives on in every fade away jumper, every classroom paper tossed into a trash can while mumbling “Kobe”, and every jersey with the numbers 8 or 24 on them. Mamba out but never will it be Mamba gone…

Number 3: The double cheeseburger feen himself Mr. Reid, and the billion-dollar boy Mahomes leading the chiefs to their first Super Bowl in 50 years. In a 10-10 game going into the half it was just about anyone’s game. As the whole world watch the halftime show, which was the first thing to divide the country this year, as females thought it was highly inappropriate and males thought it was the best halftime show they had ever seen. With both parties turning to twitter to become keyboard warriors and defend their opinion, the 49ers came out and gained a 10-point lead before anyone new what had happened. While I was deciding how I was going to spend my winning bet money on the 49ers and the commentators began calling Mahomes to young, and that the game was all but over going into the fourth quarter. Now if you blinked you missed it, as the Chiefs extremely bullied the 49ers. Mahomes rejuvenated his team and earned himself an insane contract during that performance all while bringing Kansas City the Lombardi trophy. After Mahomes achieved the most sought-after goal in every football player dreams, he then bought a piece of the Kansas City Royals. There is absolutely nothing this kid can’t do both on and off the field. I learned an unbelievably valuable lesson that night which is I will never, under and circumstance, bet against the Chiefs and Mahomes again…

The Patriots are Rebuilding and Failing

Patriots nation, the trade deadline has come and gone and all the Patriots have to show for it is Isaiah Ford. They have failed you. 

It was rumored that the Patriots would be sellers at the draft; all signs pointed to Gilmore being traded after he listed his house and set the deadline for bids on the exact time the deadline ended. There’s a first round pick right there, but you got greedy. A first round pick and a player is insanely rich for a 30 year old who is starting to regress. 

What about Joe Thuney? The Pats could’ve shipped the guard and secured a second round pick, minimum. There are plenty of teams that need line help. Nope.

Instead, here we are with no direction, no surplus of picks, a losing season imminent, and a team full of holes and gaps that should’ve been filled. 

Now, we can all admit that Cam is not the future of the Patriots, which is fine, you only spent a million on a former MVP. Fine. Draft one next season, there are plenty of studs available in the first round, look at Trey Lance. Who fills the gap at linebacker? In that case, draft Micah Parsons. Build around the young linebacker so you can inevitably replace D’onta Hightower. 

That’s not even the beginning of their needs. N’Keal Harry hasn’t progressed, at all. While there are stars like D.K. Metcalf, AJ Brown, and Terry McLaurin who you passed on, all are rising in the ranks of talented WRs. 

What about Isaiah Ford? The Patriots made a good play here, I’ll give them that, but there is no way that Ford is anything but a placeholder while Edelman gets healthy. 

What about the two TEs you drafted this year? They have a combined 10 catches. 

The Patriots are in absolute shambles. Bill, you should’ve went all in on a rebuild. Sell some top players, look towards next season where you would have a bountiful amount of cap at $43 million and picks. No. instead you left Patriot fans with a broken heart and zero, ABSOLUTELY ZERO hope for the future.

Didn’t Even Watch …

Was out in Massachusetts and New Hampshire for the weekend running down trails on the mountain bike so for the first time in the past 25 years I didn’t watch a single snap of the Jets game. For the foreseeable future I will not be tuning in to this dumpster fire. I will make sure to have some sort of obligation to avoid flipping the channel to CBS. Bet the spread against the Jets every week. Don’t even buy the point…

A Much, Much Darker “Same Old Jets”

Well…Here we are again. Not three days since my last blog about the dreaded Jets. While the last topic on the Jets testing positive for Covid-19 and having the game against The Cardinals get postponed (Yes as stated in my last blog, I did in fact hammer the Cardinals -7) did not come to fruition, my team has still managed to take 48 steps backward yet again.

Before people jump down my throat saying “it’s your own fault for having you hopes up this year.” let me set the record straight. I knew full well that the jets were yet again going to produce another losing season. I knew that the offense would be in complete shambles again. I completely and fully comprehended the concept that the defense would get torn to shreds against the schedule that they were given this year. My hopes for this team, in this season being successful, were not up. That being said, I expected more. I thought there would be even the slightest sense of compete level. I had envisioned some sort of progression coming off of the tail end of last season’s glimmer of a competent football team. Yet here we are, headed into week 6 of the season, and not only have I come to terms with ending 0-16 (a statement I’ve been preaching since week one) but I have now lost all season of hope for this team long term. Understand me when I say long-term because we aren’t talking about the next 5-7 years. Long-term for the New York Jets is the next 5-7 decades.

I’m still working on wrapping my head around the Adam Gase hire that we are now a year and a half removed from. I am going to break down some of the absolutely incoherent moves after his job was secured as the Jets bench boss. I’m also going to lay out the success of those that were trapped on the dolphins with him as the coach because guys like Devante Parker and Ryan Tannehill are now having incredible break out years now that they are out form under Gase’s thumb. No it’s not a coincidence, and if that’s what came to mind for you, shut up. I am so tired of people defending this guy.

Since Gase took over, we have seen:

1) The loss of their best overall and defensive player in Jamal Adams, and don’t come back at me with the week argument “yea but they got an insane haul for him’ because they got draft picks… and the Jets have no fucking clue what to do with draft picks.

2) Three months later we watch the best offensive player on the Jets get dropped. Don’t tell me that anything that has happened this year is on Bell, just look at last season. One of Gase’s first comments when he joining the organization was that he was unhappy with with the Bell contract. Ever since that comment he has had it out for Bell. He benched him for over 50% of the snaps last year and while bell was in, non of the play calling was tailored to his skill set. When you have a generational talent in Bell who has an incredible sill set, you work your offense around that. You don’t try to change Bell’s style.

3) Robby Anderson was exactly what Sam needed in a wide receiver weapon. Is he on the Jets now? Nope

4) We’ve seen Gase absolutely destroy the career of Darnold long term. I still believe that Sam has all the potential in the world, and put in the right environment, with weapons in place and an offensive game plan in line with his abilities, he will succeed. There’s no question about it. Gase has continued to turn a blind eye toward the weapons and skill sets the Jets had, and tried to mold everyone into something completely different.

I honestly have no idea how this guy still has a job. If any of us fucked up half as much as he has we would have lost our jobs on the spot. It all goes back to the Johnsons. They just dont care, and for some reason they still believe they have “their guy” when in essence they have not only lost the majority of that talent that suited up every Sunday, but they’ve lost the interest of every person across the country who bleeds green and white. I’ve stopped watching, and i know many of you have to. You can have all the talent in the world on the field but if the guys in the suits up in the press box don’t give a fuck, the team will never be successful. I guess their goal now is to draft Lawrence first overall but at the end of the day that wont change anything for the Jets. They’ve lost all the talented supporting cast and veteran leadership, and have butchered any credible to have big name free agents sign here in New York based on how the organization treats the players. If you’re a Jets fan like me we are absolutely fucked long term and there’s no two ways about it. Buckle up for the next half century and spend time with your families on Sunday away from the tv during football season because it isn’t getting better and it wont until the Johnson brothers sell.

Lakers 2020 NBA Champs

The Los Angeles defeated the Miami Heat in 6. Miami Heat coming in as the underdogs and led by Jimmy Butler showed the world they belonged in the NBA Finals. Lebron James and Anthony Davis had a tough path to the finals. Playing the hottest team in the NBA bubble, Portland Trail Blazers, and beating them in a gentleman’s sweep. Next round they faced off against a team with two MVP in James Harden and Russell Westbrook. Like before ended the series in a gentleman’s sweep. (4-1). In the conference finals Lakers were met by the comeback kids of the NBA Bubble, the DENVER Nuggets. Named the comeback kids because of their consecutive 3-1 comeback series wins against the Jazz and Clippers, a favorite to win the Title. Lebron and Anthony Davis faced off against Jamal Murray and Nikola Jokic and won the series in another gentleman’s sweep. Lebron and the rest of the Lakers organization were not playing around when they uttered “Jobs not finished”; the famous words Kobe said when being up 2-0 in a series.

Now Lakers versus Heat, NBA Finals, 0 Covid cases for 170+ days. The NBA season has been a roller coaster but one to remember. With the death of Kobe on everyone’s mind, and everyone doing their part to fight for social justice, this NBA championship deserves an asterisk for being the weirdest and toughest season ever. Lakers versus Heat was exciting to watch. Jimmy Butler and the Heat embracing the underdogs role were able to do something no other NBA playoff team could do, which is win 2 games. The world has seen with their own eyes that Jimmy Butler is an elite player in the NBA. Though his efforts were amazing the Lakers would win the series 4-2. They would also dedicate this series to the Great Kobe “Bean” Bryant.

R.I.P Kobe Bryant.

Bitch Pigeon of the Day #1

We are going to start a new segment here today in the middle of the blog. “Bitch Pigeon of the Day” and to some surprise Tampon Brady will not be receiving the award after not being able to count to four in last nights game against the Chicago Bears. What a washed up dude though ill tell you that much.

The Bitch Pigeon award of the day is going out to the New York Jets today after news reports broke that there has been a positive Covid-19 test in the facility. Because starting 0-4 this season wasn’t bad enough for these guys. Because Sam Darnold getting hurt and will miss extended time for the third straight year wasn’t enough. Because Adam Gase press conference lines post game “Well I just have to go to work tomorrow and make sure my teams ready for next weeks game.” after losing the only game they had a rats ass chance at winning wasn’t bad enough. And Gase lets be honest for just one quick second here. You haven’t done anything over the last year and five weeks to prepare this team to get ready for a game. I still have no idea why you are the head coach and all of New York has no idea either. I just hope to god that you listen to Boomer and Gio in the morning on your way to Florham Park because they rip you constantly. Monday is usually my favorite because they try to dissect (unsuccessfully of course because you are an absolute mad man) your “coaching methods from the day before. I’ll list some examples here for those who dont know how bad it truly it.

1)Benching Bell, 2)Sending in players after they came off the field hurt and not able to play, 3)Calling time outs when your team is down by 30 with a minute left to “frustrate the other coach” (you petty fuck) and the list goes on and on and on and yet you still somehow still have a job. Last thing ill say on Gase though is that i am very fortunate to work for myself and truth be told if i did the kind of job you do daily, i would have fired myself a long long time ago. Unbelievable.

Because all this wasn’t enough for us Jets fan, and I guess neither have the past 50 years, some clown tested positive for this shit. 3 months ago I said they can’t surprise me and honestly I’m not surprised by the news. If anything I guess it just means I dont have to watch the Cardinals bitch slap this pop-warner team. The only thing I’ll miss out on is putting my lifesavings on the Cardinals -7. For those of you that do bet though, the safest thing to bet is against the jets spread, every week as long as Gase is coach, the Johnsons are the owners, and i hate to say it, as long as Darnold is the QB. the quickest way to fortune is betting against the Jets. I dont care it the spread is -23.5 and they are playing the browns… You take that spread and you take it hard.

So in day one of this ne segment, the Bitch Pigeon of the day award goes to the New York Jets Organization. I fully expect them to be in this winners circle frequently as they are in fact the worst sports organization in all of professional sports globally. Congrats guys, I am so proud of you guys for some how finding away to digging the hole deeper than anyone ever imagined was possible.