Sam Howell Has Never Had Steak and Texas Will Have Their Revenge

Three most American things in reverse order, Steak, Football, and Hummers. I’m not sure if Sam Howell has ever driven a Hummer or even if he’s seen one, but I know one thing for sure. He’s never tasted steak or had a burger.

In the frenzy of media interviews before the Orange Bowl, Sam was asked to say a random fact about himself. He chose to reveal that he only eats chicken and has never tasted steak.

Dude, you’re about to face the best team in Texas in Texas A&M (yes that felt weird to say) and you’re going to reveal that you’ve never graced your tastebuds with the most glorious gift from the food gods, beef? They’re going to eat you medium rare with a baked potato.

Hey Howell, is your Chicken Nuggies enough to be a champion? No. Side note. Any adult who says “Chicken Nuggies or Chicken Tendies” is a fucking toddler who shouldn’t be allowed to join society until they learn how to speak like an adult. Go back to your crib and watch Frozen.

Don’t take my triggered chicken take wrong, I’ll indulge in some CHICKEN NUGGETS (certified adult), but you can’t give A&M an inch in this game you just gave them a whole mile.

Gig ‘Em

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