A Celebrity Just Broke Usain Bolt’s Record

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “James, ya idiot, there’s no sports going on, you’re a buffoon.” Well BOTA faithful, Coronavirus can’t stop everyone.

For some people the loneliness is killing them, but for others they have maintained a physical peak and beat Usain Bolts 100 meter time.

What if I told you, that this person was 38? Would you believe me? Or would you hit me baby one more time?

The person who broke the 100 meter record is…….

THAT’S RIGHT! The former pop star, turned insane drug addict, turned social media star,(god that was a lot) has claimed to beat Usain Bolts 100m record.

She claimed to run 100m in 5.97 seconds…

K.

If that’s the case, have her strap on those weird looking runner shoes and let’s get her ready for next year. Better yet, let’s get her those dumb shoes where every toe is separated like a damp rubber sock. Who wears those things honestly? Just that one dude who’s trying too hard at the gym.

She would later redact her statement calling it a joke. Let me tell you something Britney. You can’t go around teasing us with fake news right now. We are all very sensitive with nothing happening besides COVID 19 news.

So yes, media outlets and us here at BOTA jumped at the story, but that’s just the day and age we live in baby. It’s all about the clicks baby.

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